Why is it even called a right hand man? Maybe a right hand man is supposed to stand to the right of you. But what if my friends stand to the left of me? Does that not make them my right hand man? And what if my bestie is female? Would she be a right hand woman?

Maybe I’m a leftie, and I want a left hand man. Or a left hand woman. Or, since I’m only 12, my friends would be right/left hand BOYS OR GIRLS, not women or men. Or maybe they’re super posh and elegant, and they’re a left/right hand lady or a left/right hand gentleman. Maybe I’m the leader of a squad, and I have left/right hand ladies/gentlemen/boys/girls/men/women. OR maybe I’m ambidextrous, and I don’t favor my left hand men or women! Maybe I have a right foot man or a right foot woman!

I, JENNA (INSERT LAST NAME HERE), WISH TO END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST THE FOLLOWING:

  • Right hand women
  • Left hand men
  • Left hand women
  • Right hand gentleman
  • Right hand lady
  • Left hand gentleman
  • Left hand lady
  • Right hand boy
  • Left hand girl
  • Plurals
  • Ambidextrous people
  • Feet